Talking $hit Is the New Pillow Talk!
Hey there!
Let’s talk $hit, shall we? Literally. I don't mind talking about it. Please allow me to explain why. It started back in high school.
In my high school science classes, especially chemistry and biology, I was blown away by what I discovered. Photosynthesis, heart anatomy … I got to dissect a pig heart, how awesome was that! If you ask me now to explain how photosynthesis works or to verbally label each heart chamber and how it functions, I admit I will stumble. But one assignment in particular from my bio class had me in awe and disgusted at the same time. I still remember what that assignment was all about.
Before It Goes Down.
My bio teacher ordered us to take notes for the next homework assignment. He said to write down everything you eat and drink in detail and then when you go take a poop, don’t flush it down right away. He wanted us to take a look and document what we saw, again in detail.
The whole class giggled. Didn’t know he was such a funny guy, the class whispered. Turned out it was a serious assignment and we were expected to complete it. (This is when you quietly swear and exchange strange looks with your classmates.) He then handed out a worksheet with detailed instructions on how to document your journey to poop land! For example: what color, texture, and smell; did it float or sink; was it an easy and smooth exit or a workout for your bottom. A week later, when it was time to turn in our homework, my bio teacher explained the whole thing about how our body works to digest and get rid of waste.
Ever since then, I have been hooked on looking at poop through a scientific lens. That sort of weird habit carries over to when I pick up Morty’s doo doo. It’s magical, just like a smiley poop emoji. Poop has characteristics!
Also, this was one of my inspirations to include the smiley poop emoji as a Holy Shift! (no longer) mystery gift. Aha ... pun intended. Seriously.
Now let's decode the dog’s poop.
Ground Rules.
I like to decode Morty’s poop every time I pick it up. Not only does it make this mundane task more interesting, but it is also a daily visual clue to her general health, an insight into her gut.
What I am telling you is a general guide. What is considered “normal” for your dog can be different for others. For example, if your dog normally has slightly soft stools and is doing well, but then all of a sudden develops firmer, dryer stools, that could be an early indication of a problem. Again, always investigate with your vet. But here are three things you should be looking for in what the poop is telling you: Shape, Texture, and Color.
Shape: Poop should be firm, maintaining its form and shape like a log. It should be solid but not hard, moist enough to squish when touched. Round poop could be a sign that your dog may be dehydrated.
Texture: Normal dog poop should be moist, compact, and easy to pick up from the grass. You should be able to scoop it up easily and leave little or no trace on the surface. Soft, blobby, watery, or shapeless poop might be a sign of an intestinal issue.
Color: Believe it or not, dog poops come in a variety of colors like a peacock, which includes brown, black, yellow, grey-white, green, orange, or even purple! Normal healthy ones should be chocolate brown. Watch out for grey, green, or orange which could mean organ trouble. Black poop might be a sign of a serious problem.
Sometimes Morty holds her poop hostage for a few days. (It’s ok for a dog to skip a day or two occasionally, it does not cause concern, especially if the poop looks normal.) I clap happily when she finally releases her poop. Go free!! I beam with pride when I see Morty has healthy good poop with a mild odor. I get concerned when she has soft poop. I get worried when she has a splash ass (a.k.a. diarrhea). If you read this far, I’m sure you can relate to what I am talking about.
Pillow Talk.
I never thought I would openly and happily talk, let alone write a blog post, about poop. It’s such a natural thing and everyone - I mean every single person on this planet Earth, even the Queen - has to do it. Poop leaves us clues to our health. It’s a part of our well-being journey. So too is the dog’s poop. It’s only disgusting when some irresponsible pet owner leaves the dog’s poop behind. Or worst, when we step in it!
When my husband returns home from a walk with Morty, the first thing I say is “How’s the walk?” Then I always proceed to ask (or interrogate as he’d describe it) “Did she poop? How was it?” Like a well-trained dog dad, he describes the “characteristics” to me. If something is off (like those concerning situations I talked about earlier), we talk about it more and try to figure out our next move.
Last Squeeze.
Still want to know more? Really? You’re my kind of person. For more detail, here is a Complete Guide to Dog’s Poop. Also, make sure to watch this awesome video if you are short on time.
Our dogs need us to help them stay healthy. It’s important to make good observations of our dog’s bathroom habits and know what is normal for your dog. Familiarizing yourself with the color, size, shape, and smell of your dog’s poop can help you detect problems early.
It takes a strong gut to stay healthy for both you and your dog. Be Gutsy Strong, My Friend.
PS. Back in 2018, I learned about AnimalBiome, gut health test kits for dogs & cats. It was like I had an X-ray superpower to see Morty from the inside out. Literally. It was love at first sight. You had me at the smiley poop emoji. 💩
